Chapter Four: The Woman
The woman stared fixedly at Zhao Mu’s bundle, her eyes burning with longing. Zhao Mu felt a tightening in his chest, realizing she had discovered his secret. Without a second thought, he immediately turned and walked away. There were so many refugees that she didn't know him, and as long as he could shake her off, she wouldn't be able to spread word across the world that he had a way to catch fish.
Seeing him leave, the woman hurried to follow. Zhao Mu stopped a few times to look back at her, but she only kept her distance, neither speaking nor drawing too close. This irritated Zhao Mu. His predecessor had not had a drop of food for three days, and the raw fish he had just consumed was sitting poorly in his stomach. Had he been able to rest, it might have been fine, but having walked so far after eating, his stomach began to cramp violently. With no other choice, he leaned against a withered tree, its bark long since stripped away, to rest. He glanced back to see the woman had also stopped a short distance away, still watching him like a predator.
Zhao Mu knew that if she didn't get fish from him, she likely wouldn't give up. Yet, he was unwilling to simply hand over the fish he had worked so hard to secure, nor could he guarantee that sharing would stop her from hounding him. If she were to cling to him like a leech, he would be the one to lose out. With refugees everywhere, he barely knew if he could survive himself; how could he possibly support another?
After resting for a long time, the spasms in his stomach finally subsided. He turned to look at the woman and found her lying on the ground, seemingly fast asleep. Zhao Mu hesitated for a moment, hoping to use this gap to escape. However, after walking for a long time and thinking he had finally lost her, he looked up to find that she had caught up once again. Zhao Mu felt a sense of helplessness; just as he feared, the woman had become a leech.
As the sky gradually darkened, Zhao Mu felt an overwhelming exhaustion. Yet, he dared not sleep, fearing the woman might steal his fish—or even kill him—while he was unconscious. But his body was far too weak; before midnight, his eyelids were already struggling to stay open. The woman nearby, though also yawning incessantly, kept her gaze locked on him—or rather, on his bundle.
A battle raged in Zhao Mu’s mind. He wanted to rest, yet he feared the woman. He considered tossing her a fish to appease her, but worried that would only ensure she kept following him.
He had no choice but to wait her out, seeing who could hold on until the end; the survivor would be the winner. He had considered killing her—after all, with refugees everywhere, no one would care about another death—but his conscience, shaped by a good education, would not allow it. He was neither willing to play the saint nor become an executioner.
Thus, they endured until the early hours of the morning. Unable to hold on any longer, Zhao Mu leaned against a small dirt mound, clutching his bundle, and drifted into a fitful sleep. Seeing him asleep, the woman seemed tempted. Her eyes darted between him and the bundle, but in the end, she did nothing and lay down to sleep as well. Just as she settled, Zhao Mu suddenly opened his eyes. Seeing she remained motionless, he closed his eyes again and fell into a deep slumber.
He didn't know how much time had passed when he suddenly jolted awake. As he opened his eyes to the familiar yet alien landscape, his heart grew heavy. Everything that had happened yesterday felt like a nightmare. He desperately hoped that waking up would return him to his own world. But the desolation before his eyes made it clear that this was no dream—he had truly transmigrated. There was no such thing as "accepting fate as it comes"; such a grim start would drive anyone to despair.
He looked around; aside from the woman who had followed him, no one else was passing by. Zhao Mu quietly took a fish from his bundle. Having been out of water for too long, it had died from oxygen deprivation. As he pulled it out, a pungent, fishy odor assaulted his nose. In his previous life, he wouldn't have even glanced at such a fish, but now, he had to suppress his nausea and eat it raw. After only a few bites, he felt so sick he nearly gagged. Forcing it down, he began to cough violently.
The sound of his coughing woke the woman. She stared at the fish in his hand, her throat working as she swallowed hard. Ignoring her, Zhao Mu hurriedly devoured the rest of the small fish, fearing his coughing would draw others. The hunger remained, but he dared not eat more. He only had a few fish left; if he finished them, he would have to forage for more. Leaving aside the difficulty of finding a suitable spot, he feared that if he tried to catch more, others would discover his secret. People were selfish; although there were many fish in the river, they were not inexhaustible. If everyone learned his method, even the wild herbs along the banks would be stripped bare, making it impossible for him to survive.
"When one is successful, one helps the world; when one is poor, one tends to oneself." Zhao Mu didn't want to sink to the level of others; he could only focus on his own survival, relying on these fish to stay alive. As for the future, he hadn't even considered it. If he couldn't survive the present, what future could there be?
After resting a while longer, Zhao Mu stood up. There were tens of thousands of refugees outside Gaozhou City, and the officials were powerless to relocate them, let alone provide disaster relief. If he wanted to live, he had to get far away. He didn't want to become a cannibal like some of the others, nor did he want to be eaten. The refugees outside the city had already turned into starving masses; one more step and they would become a violent mob. Moreover, with so many people dying every day, a plague was likely inevitable.
He didn't want to get involved, so he had to hide. He would go far away and wait for this catastrophe to pass. Zhao Mu looked at the rushing river and headed upstream along the bank. Every day, desperate refugees perished in the water, and he knew not what viruses or bacteria were breeding there. Only further upstream might things be better. Besides, the higher up he went, the calmer the water might become, making it easier for him to catch more fish if needed.
Seeing him move, the woman scrambled up and followed from a distance. Zhao Mu was aware of this, but there was nothing he could do. This world was harsh enough; while he only wanted to survive, he didn't want to make things harder for others. As long as the woman didn't try to harm him, he didn't mind her following for a few days. Perhaps, in a day or two, she would simply starve to death.