04 "A Letter Sent"

Watching the little ones leave, Lin Zhao returned to the house. The place was a mess, but she had little energy to tidy up; after all, the bump on her head had yet to subside, and it ached every so often, which was quite wearisome.

"Leave it until tomorrow... I'll deal with it tomorrow."

Having convinced herself, Lin Zhao lay down and closed her eyes.

When she woke up again, the sky had darkened, and the voice of the second child drifted in from outside.

"Big Brother, why hasn't Mom woken up yet? Has she fainted?"

The eldest child had quietly checked on Lin Zhao earlier and knew she was still breathing. Hearing his brother, he scolded him, "Second, your voice is too loud! What if you wake Mom up? Grandma said people with head injuries need plenty of rest. Stop talking."

The second child, who listened to his older brother above all else, fell silent.

After the sun set, the room grew quite dim, though it wasn't yet dark enough to need a lamp.

Lin Zhao rose from the bed and opened the door. The eldest child stepped forward, but he didn't dare get too close, fearful that his mother might have reverted to her old, aloof self.

Standing where he was, he asked, "Mom, does your head still hurt?"

Lin Zhao moved closer, patted the top of his head, and smiled. "I feel much better after that nap."

Seeing that his mother hadn't changed, the eldest beamed. "Grandma asked me to bring you dinner. Would you like to eat now?"

Lin Zhao did feel a bit hungry after her sleep. "Yes, please."

The second child rushed to bring the meal over.

Having had his chance to be helpful snatched away by his younger brother, the eldest felt a bit gloomy, but when he saw his mother smile at him, the corners of his mouth lifted in a small arc.

Lin Zhao took the bowl from the second child: cornmeal porridge with stewed Chinese cabbage, the only protein being the fried egg on top.

She didn't need the children to tell her that this egg was Mother Gu's way of nourishing her.

"Thank you, Big One, Second One."

"You're welcome." The eldest child blushed shyly and pulled up a stool for Lin Zhao to sit and eat.

It was the height of summer, and the countryside was plagued by mosquitoes—vicious ones that left large, incredibly itchy welts with every bite.

Lin Zhao’s legs were covered in several red bumps.

Building a new house and buying mosquito nets had become an absolute necessity.

"Big One, Second One, I'm planning to build us a new house. Do you have any thoughts on that?"

The eldest child’s eyes widened.

*Build a house!?*

"Can we build a brick house?" the second child asked excitedly, his voice raised.

The eldest signaled for his brother to keep it down, lest they wake the younger ones, who had played themselves out that afternoon and been coaxed to sleep early.

The second child covered his mouth, looking at Lin Zhao with wide, expectant eyes. His voice dropped several decibels, yet his tone remained filled with excitement: "Mom, I want a brick house."

It had to be said, the way the little boy spoke was quite adorable.

"...We can." Lin Zhao thought of the zeros on the bankbook her husband had left in her care and nodded decisively. "Brick houses are cleaner, so we'll build a brick house. And I'll install mosquito nets for you all, so you won't be bitten awake at night. The brickwork might be a bit of a hassle... but it's fine. I'll write a letter to your father tonight and let him figure out a solution."

Gu Cheng-huai, far away in the military camp: *Thanks for thinking of me.*

Seeing that the eldest was quiet, Lin Zhao softened her tone. "Why aren't you saying anything, Big One? This house will be our home, and every member of the family can offer their input."

"Mom, is there enough money?" the eldest asked hesitantly.

Lin Zhao felt a pang of heartache. Sometimes the eldest was so steady he didn't seem like a child at all; children forced to grow up too soon was the result of parental neglect.

She smiled at him and said softly, "Yes, there is enough money for the house and to keep all four of you fed with meat."

The eldest’s face brightened, his smile pure and his eyes shining.

Lin Zhao ate heartily, not minding that Mother Gu’s cooking skills were mediocre.

Don't let her current fair and delicate appearance fool you into thinking she wasn't a country girl; she had endured her fair share of hardships growing up.

Her parents and brothers had treated her well, but the whole family relied on farming to survive, and even getting enough to eat was a struggle; having cornmeal porridge to fill their bellies was considered a luxury.

She was only able to attend school because her uncle, a factory worker in the city, had supported her.

Recalling how she had acted as if possessed these past few years, inexplicably cutting off contact with her uncle, Lin Zhao felt like an ungrateful wretch.

"Mom, can I still share a room with the second one?" the eldest asked.

The second child nodded vigorously. "Yes, yes! I want to stay in the same room as my brother!"

Lin Zhao asked with a smile, "And what about the third and fourth?"

The eldest said without hesitation, "Then we should all four stay in one room." He hadn't even considered leaving his younger siblings for his mother to look after.

"Hmm." The second child had no objections; he always followed his brother’s lead.

Seeing that it was getting late, Lin Zhao told the children to go to sleep, and they returned to their respective rooms.

Before leaving, the eldest couldn't help but look back at Lin Zhao, silently praying that his mother would remain the same tomorrow.

Lin Zhao, unaware of the eldest’s inner thoughts, didn't rush to bed. She sat at the desk to write a letter to the children's father.

***

She had suffered greatly today—it was truly an injustice, and she felt aggrieved. When she thought of her portrayal in "that book"—a troublesome woman, a luckless cannon fodder, full of bad habits, with no merits other than being able to bear children... she grew angrier and angrier.

She had given birth to four treasures for Gu Cheng-huai and was being supported by him—so what? Besides, her husband hadn't said anything, so what right did that detestable book have to judge her?

Lin Zhao took out the stationery and fountain pen she hadn't touched in ages. It seemed that ever since she became pregnant with the twins, she hadn't been very diligent about sending letters to the military district.

The ink in the pen had dried up...

This pen had been a gift from Gu Cheng-huai, costing over ten yuan.

She opened the drawer, took out the ink, and filled the pen.

Lin Zhao wiped the residual ink from the nib and began to write. She let her thoughts flow across several pages, and by the time she finished, her wrist was aching, and she had forgotten exactly what she had written.

She was the type of girl whose anger came quickly but also faded quickly.

After finishing the letter and venting her frustrations, the stifling irritation in her chest had mostly dissipated.

Remembering there was a marinated chicken leg in the cupboard, Lin Zhao got up to retrieve it.

As she unwrapped the oil paper, a rich, savory aroma wafted out, and she couldn't help but swallow.

It really wasn't that she was gluttonous, but her stomach was craving some oil.

There was only one leg, which made it impossible to divide among the children, and besides, it wasn't good for them to eat processed deli meat late at night. She would just have to take care of it herself!

Lin Zhao licked her lips and began to eat. The marinated meat was truly delicious; she chewed faster and faster, finishing the leg in two minutes.

The bones shouldn't go to waste; she would feed them to the stray dogs tomorrow.

The stray dogs in the Harvest Production Brigade had ancestors who had performed meritorious deeds; even during the hardest times, the people had never thought of killing the dogs to fill their bellies.

***

Early the next morning, when Lin Zhao woke up, the four children had already returned from having breakfast at the old house.

Hearing movement in her room, the eldest hurried over and knocked gently.

"Is that you, Big One? Come in." Usually, the child who remembered to knock was the eldest; the second would have simply burst in.

Hearing his mother’s gentle voice, the eldest’s face lit up with a smile.

He pushed the door open.

"Mom, does your head still hurt?" he asked as soon as he entered.

He peered at the bump on Lin Zhao’s head as he spoke.

Seeing that it had shrunk by a circle, he exclaimed in surprise, "Mom, the bump on your head has gotten smaller!"

"Yes, I noticed that too," Lin Zhao said with a smile.

Just then, the second child rushed in, his eyes glowing. "Mom, when are we going to the county town to buy meat buns?"

Lin Zhao absentmindedly ruffled the tuft of hair on the second child’s head. "As soon as I finish washing my face and brushing my teeth."

The second child’s smile widened until it reached his ears.

He didn't rush her; he just wanted to be sure she was actually going.

Having received confirmation, the little boy became like a busy bee, pouring her wash water, fetching the basin, finding the towel, taking out the toothbrush and toothpaste... he was so eager he almost wanted to brush her teeth for her.

Lin Zhao quickly stopped him. "That's enough... leave me be and go do your own thing."

She couldn't take it; she wasn't some "useless beauty."

"Oh." The second child turned to leave, but after only two steps, he looked back. "Mom, hurry up."

Lin Zhao: "..."

"Little glutton." Lin Zhao teased, though her eyes were filled with laughter.

The second child didn't feel offended; he grinned like a little fool. "Yes, I am a little glutton."

He leaned in close to Lin Zhao, tilted his head, and asked with a smile, "Mom, can you buy two meat buns for your little glutton?" He held up two fingers.

Lin Zhao pushed his cute, pleading face away. "No."

*Fine, forget it then.*

The second child didn't pester her further; he turned away with a jaunty air and headed toward his older brother.

Lin Zhao discovered another virtue in the second child: he was pragmatic and never hesitated or dragged his feet when it was time to give up.

The third and fourth children were also up and playing in the courtyard. They both wanted their mother to hold them, and the eldest, managing his younger siblings, was exhausted; it was only with the second child’s help that things were manageable.

After washing up, Lin Zhao sent the children to the old house and set off for the county town alone.

There was no bicycle at home. The Brigade Leader had one, but his wife was a petty woman who loved to take advantage of others; borrowing it would not only cost a favor but would also result in a lecture, so walking was better.

Seeing Lin Zhao heading to the city again, the gossips of the brigade started whispering.

"The eldest's mother is going to the county town again. It isn't time for the allowance yet, so why is she going?"

"Who knows? Lin Zhao is the only one in the whole brigade who lives well, keeping herself fair and tender while dumping her children on her mother-in-law. Cheng-huai’s mother must have had eight lifetimes of bad luck to get such a daughter-in-law."

"Exactly, exactly! And don't give me that 'she can bear children' nonsense! Which woman can't? A lazy, gluttonous daughter-in-law like her... I wouldn't want her even if she could bear a dozen."

Wang Chunhua, who happened to be passing by, couldn't help but interject, "The eldest's mother wouldn't think much of your son, either."

The woman was so angry her face turned green. "What did you say!"

What was wrong with her son? Her son was perfectly fine.

Unable to let it go, the woman retorted with a sneer, "I heard you were begging to help Lin Zhao yesterday. I wonder if she even thanked you."

Wang Chunhua didn't take it to heart. She said coolly, "I helped her because I hope that if my own children ever run into trouble, there will be kind people to help them. It’s not because I need her thanks. Besides, we are all neighbors; helping each other is only right. There’s no need for such superficial things."

With that, she turned and walked away.

The group of gossips, caught in the act, couldn't keep their circle together and dispersed in a hurry.

Lin Zhao knew nothing of this episode. When she reached the edge of the village, she left the leftover chicken bones from the night before in the spot where the stray dogs usually hung out.

As soon as she left, a large yellow dog appeared. Its fur was matted and dry, and it was so thin that every bone in its body was visible.

Smelling the fragrant bones, the dog sniffed and licked them, but it didn't eat. It moved its head away and let out a soft, "Woof..."

A moment later, a small yellow puppy emerged, trotting slowly to the bones. It began to gnaw on them, its tail wagging like a propeller.

The mother dog drooled; she was hungry too, but from start to finish, she never once thought of taking a bite.

The marinated chicken bones were soft, and the puppy finished them quickly. Still feeling hungry, it let out a soft, milky "Woof" at its mother.

That was its way of saying it hadn't had enough.

The mother dog bowed her head to lick the puppy’s head, knocking it over, and it let out another milky, fierce "Woof."

Afterward, the two dogs, one large and one small, walked away.

The road from the Harvest Production Brigade to the county town wasn't exactly close, but it wasn't overly far either. On a bicycle, it was a breeze, but on foot, it was quite a trek.

It was nearly eleven o'clock by the time Lin Zhao reached the county town. The two-hour walk had left her nearly exhausted.

She went to the post office first to mail her letter. Only after watching the clerk affix the stamps and place it in the pile of outgoing mail did she feel at ease.

"Don't you trust me to handle it?" the round-faced girl with two short braids behind the counter teased with a smile.

This girl, Liang Yi, had worked at the post office for years and knew Lin Zhao.

Lin Zhao chuckled. "It’s just that I haven't mailed a letter in so long, and seeing how efficient you are, I found it interesting."

Liang Yi was delighted by the compliment. Seeing the red mark on Lin Zhao’s forehead, which still looked a bit swollen, she asked with concern, "What happened to your head?"

"I bumped it," Lin Zhao said casually.

"Be careful. A head injury is no small matter."

"I will." Seeing someone approach for business, Lin Zhao waved and left the post office.

After mailing the letter, she headed to the supply and marketing cooperative.

The house was lacking many things, and Lin Zhao had brought all her soon-to-expire ration coupons with her.

She bought cloth, hard candies, toothbrushes, toilet paper...

Seeing a pair of Warrior sneakers, she asked the salesperson, "Do you have any for a five-year-old?"

Lin Zhao looked like someone with money, and her shopping style was decisive—if she liked it, she bought it—so the salesperson treated her with respect, devoid of the usual arrogance she showed toward customers.

In these times, few people bought shoes; everyone wore homemade cloth shoes. Even adults rarely bought shoes, and families buying them for children were as rare as phoenix feathers and unicorn horns. The cooperative had stocked a few pairs of children’s sneakers, but they hadn't sold in over a year. Seeing Lin Zhao interested, the salesperson was delighted. "Yes, how many pairs?"

Before Lin Zhao could reply, she dutifully recommended, "The quality of these sneakers is excellent, and they look great on. You won't regret buying them."

"Two pairs, please." Imagining the joy on the eldest and second children’s faces, Lin Zhao felt that no matter the cost, it was worth it.

The salesperson was overjoyed. Clearing out stagnant inventory meant that even without a monetary bonus, the manager would give her a verbal commendation, which was good for her annual performance review.

She became even more enthusiastic, wrapping the two pairs in paper and sliding them across the counter. "Seven yuan."

Yes, seven yuan for two pairs—nearly half a worker's monthly salary, which was quite expensive.

Lin Zhao held the shoes, measured them, and feeling they were the right size, decisively paid the money.

The salesperson had been working for half a year and had never seen someone so unfazed by the price. Feeling a touch of envy, she remembered two blankets still in stock and took the initiative. "Would you like a wool blanket?"

"Yes!" Lin Zhao’s eyes brightened.

Perfect—she could replace the blankets the third and fourth children were using.

The salesperson crouched down and pulled two blankets from the cabinet beneath the counter.

They were red and looked a bit tacky, but the quality was decent.

"I'll take them both," Lin Zhao said.