Chapter 18: Reflections

Only...

Gu Zhuo quietly sighed, remembering a truth she had learned as a child: kind words cannot persuade the damned. In fact, her silence today stemmed from this very lesson. When a family is filled with opinions you cannot agree with, and every attempt at argument ends in defeat, it is hard not to become a quiet person.

She had wanted to invite her two older sisters to stay for dinner, but both Sanxiu and Wuxiu refused—how could they linger at such a time? That would only burden their youngest sister.

As they left the Xie household, Sanxiu waved back at Gu Zhuo, who stood at the doorway, and sighed as she spoke to Wuxiu: "What a fate Qixiu has... Just when Linzi was about to meet the conditions to take her away with the army, something like this happened. It's so hard to be a woman; if Qixiu were a man, with her abilities, she could easily marry a beautiful young maiden."

—It must be said, Sanxiu truly is Yang Xiuzhen's daughter; her words echoed their mother's exactly.

Wuxiu disliked hearing such talk. "Can't you stop copying Mom, repeating the same thing hundreds or thousands of times? Ever since Qixiu was born, Mom's regretted she wasn't a boy, and she's said it over and over as if saying it more would make Qixiu a boy. Isn't that just making people unhappy on purpose?"

"I don't believe you don't regret it," Sanxiu retorted. "When Mom was pregnant with Qixiu, both the fortune-teller and the midwife said it would be a boy. If not, Dad wouldn't have consulted a fortune-teller for Qixiu's name. Qixiu was always different from other kids, so clever and bright—even the old village chief said if she were a boy, she'd be destined for greatness."

But Wuxiu truly felt no regret; she had been young then, with little memory of those things. More importantly, unlike Yang Xiuzhen and Sanxiu, she did not place so much value on sons over daughters. Whether their youngest sibling was a boy made little difference to her.

She thought this, and she said it too.

"How can it make no difference?" Sanxiu glared. "If Qixiu were a boy, would there even be Jiang and He?"

If there was any divergence between Sanxiu and Yang Xiuzhen, it was only about whether to adopt Jiang and He. Yang Xiuzhen believed that having only three daughters and no sons was shameful, so when the abandoned twins Jiang and He were left at their doorstep, she saw them as a gift from heaven she could not refuse.

Sanxiu, on the other hand, argued that children left at the door should not be taken in—who knew if their biological parents would return someday to reclaim them? She could never support such risky acts that might benefit others at her own expense.

To stop her parents, she even proposed that after she married, her second son could take her surname. Yang Xiuzhen was tempted by the idea, but Gu Zhuo opposed it. She knew too well the troubles Sanxiu would face if this were allowed, and could not bear for her sister's marriage prospects to be limited.

"If only Dad were more like Second Uncle," Wuxiu couldn't help but sigh.

Second Uncle Gu Dajia was shrewd and liked to take advantage, always plotting, and not particularly likable. But he had one outstanding virtue—he did not favor sons over daughters.

He, too, had three daughters, but never fretted about not having a son. When Jiang and He were abandoned at their door years ago, Second Aunt Xu Lanmei wanted each family to adopt one. Had Gu Dajia not threatened, "If you adopt him, I'll divorce you," things might have turned out differently.

Sanxiu's expression grew complicated as she brought up another issue. "Jiang and He's school fees are considerable, and Qixiu used to pay them. Linzi earned well, and she didn’t mind those few coins. But now Linzi's gone, and surely Qixiu can't be expected to keep paying? School starts in just a month."

Wuxiu frowned too. "You know Qixiu's temperament. If Mom asks, she’ll surely compromise."

"Why should she?" Sanxiu protested. "Qixiu never even finished elementary school herself!"

"That was because the school was too far, Dad hurt his leg, the mountain roads were hard, and no one could take Qixiu. Mom and Dad weren't comfortable letting her walk alone," Wuxiu explained. "Later, when Dad recovered, he wanted her to go back, but she refused, saying self-study was more efficient."

"That’s not the whole story," Sanxiu snapped. "In two years, those boys will be in high school, and high school fees are expensive—sixteen yuan a year for two. Plus, they must bring their own grain; teenage boys eat their parents into poverty. Our team's grain is already short, and there aren't many mouths at home, so it won't be enough. Won’t Mom and Dad look to Qixiu again?"

She was happy to help her parents and sisters, but those adopted brothers were not within her care.

Wuxiu did not dislike the boys as much as her sister, but she didn't particularly like them either. The boys were brought home when she was twelve, and since Sanxiu was unfriendly, their mother always made Wuxiu care for them. Days spent with diapers and crying children felt like a nightmare in retrospect.

So, though she had helped raise them, she could not claim to be fond of them. The boys were not unlikable, but neither were they especially endearing.

Their youngest sister lived in the same village as their family, so returning home was unavoidable; otherwise, people would gossip.

Passing by Second Uncle's house, Wang Guifang happened to come out of the yard and greeted them with delight.

"Sanxiu, Wuxiu, are you headed home?"

"Second Aunt," Sanxiu and Wuxiu called out.

Wuxiu explained, "We just went to visit Qixiu, and thought we'd stop by home."

"Your mother is still at work, but come in for a bit—I have something to discuss with you," Wang Guifang invited.

Sanxiu and Wuxiu hadn’t planned to go inside, but after hearing there was something to talk about, they couldn’t refuse.

Once inside, Wang Guifang poured them water and rummaged through boxes to find something to treat them with.

"Second Aunt, don't look, we're not hungry."

"Yes, please sit and tell us what you wanted to say."

Unable to find the small bag of dried sweet potatoes—likely eaten by her grandsons—Wang Guifang gave up.

After sitting, she first mentioned Qixiu’s intention to split from the family, then shared her own thoughts.

"What do you think? I don’t go out to work, I stay home to care for the kids, so having Yinyin here wouldn’t be any trouble. Your mother could care for Yinyin too, but she’d never skip work just for that."