Chapter 33: Bai Jing, Longing to Find Herself

Cao Kun’s words were not intended to comfort Wang Shanshan; he truly had no desire for Wang Yifu to be sentenced to death.

Because death would be an easy way out, and that would be letting him off too lightly.

Besides, if Cao Kun had wanted Wang Yifu dead, he would not have needed to resort to such troublesome methods. Had he truly wished for his demise, Wang Yifu would have died from various "accidents" countless times over by now. There was simply no need for such complications.

Therefore, he would not allow Wang Yifu to be sentenced to death. He wanted him to stay alive. Only by being alive could one truly experience what it meant to suffer a fate worse than death.

As for Wang Shanshan, upon hearing these words from Cao Kun, she was instantly moved. Of course, she was not touched by the content of his words, but rather by the realization that the familiar "simp" she knew had finally returned. It made all those big gulps she had forced down in the private room at the café worth it.

"Cao Kun, you are so good to me. But no matter how you negotiate with them, is it really possible to get them to drop the price from 3.5 million to 800,000?"

If it were a reduction from 3.5 million to 3 million, Wang Shanshan might have thought it possible. But dropping from 3.5 million to 800,000 struck her as nothing short of delusional. After all, the other party came from a wealthy background; they likely didn't even care about a measly million or so. Why would they let the murderer of their son go for a mere 800,000? It was unthinkable, even to a fool.

"Not necessarily," Cao Kun smiled. "They didn't say it was impossible to negotiate. Besides, we have to try, don't we? What if it works?"

Wang Shanshan thought for a moment and nodded. It was true. Whatever happened, they had to try. After all, they had no other options left.

...

More than twenty minutes later, Cao Kun and Wang Shanshan returned to his place. It was nearly 6:30 PM, but Bai Jing, who had returned home earlier, had not prepared dinner—in fact, she had no intention of doing so. She was lying on the bed in the bedroom, the door left wide open, eyes closed, lost in thought or perhaps drifting into sleep.

Seeing this, Cao Kun handed two hundred-yuan bills to Wang Shanshan and whispered, "Go to a restaurant outside, order a few dishes your Aunt Bai likes, and bring them back. Then, give her a proper apology."

Wang Shanshan was no fool; she didn't need Cao Kun to tell her that her mother was angry about being asked to borrow money to save her father. Realizing she was indeed the cause of her mother's frustration, Wang Shanshan didn't argue. She took the two hundred yuan and left.

With Wang Shanshan gone, Cao Kun strode into Bai Jing’s bedroom. Seeing her lying on the bed pretending to be asleep, he curled his lips into a smile, sat on the edge of the bed, and placed his hand on her soft, rounded thigh.

"Still angry?"

Bai Jing hadn't been sleeping at all; she had been awake the entire time and knew that Wang Shanshan had gone out to buy food. She tightened her legs, pinning Cao Kun’s hand as it slid upward, then opened her eyes, putting on a pitiful, delicate expression.

"Sigh, it's not exactly anger. It's just... I’m truly disappointed today."

Cao Kun smiled but didn't respond.

Bai Jing continued, "I can understand Shanshan wanting to save her father; he is her father, after all, and there's a bond there. But to push her own mother into a pit of fire just to save him—that is something I truly cannot understand or accept. When I think about everything I’ve sacrificed for her over the years, I feel so aggrieved. I just... I feel so weary at heart."

Watching Bai Jing, Cao Kun almost laughed out loud. What a perfect, resentful woman. This was the absolute best moment to drive a wedge between her and her daughter.

Cao Kun smiled slightly, turned to lie on his side, and propped his head up with one hand while stroking Bai Jing’s cheek with the other. "It’s perfectly normal. It’s because you’ve lived your life without a sense of self."

"Without a sense of self?" Bai Jing looked into Cao Kun’s eyes, puzzled.

"Yes," Cao Kun said. "Every person is an independent individual meant to live for themselves. But you... most of your life has been occupied by Shanshan. Even the clothes, cosmetics, and food you like have all become things she likes. You only buy what she likes."

"So, you haven't been living for yourself. You’ve been living for Shanshan. A person like that is distorted and abnormal, which is why you feel so exhausted."

Bai Jing stared at Cao Kun, feeling as if she had met a master. It was true. Ever since she had Wang Shanshan, her center of gravity had shifted entirely onto her daughter. Whatever Shanshan liked to eat, she cooked. Whatever clothes Shanshan liked, she would rather go without new clothes herself just to buy them for her. Wherever Shanshan wanted to go, she would provide the money, even if she had never been there herself. It was as if she existed solely for Wang Shanshan's sake.

If Cao Kun hadn't pointed it out, she wouldn't have realized that she had lost herself completely.

Bai Jing looked at him blankly and asked, "Then... what should I do?"

"You need to find yourself again, of course," Cao Kun said. "Remember, you don't owe Shanshan anything. On the contrary, she owes you—she owes you for the debt of your upbringing. So, from now on, you must live for yourself. Eat the food you want to eat, wear the clothes you love, buy the cosmetics you enjoy. In short, do whatever makes you happy. Don't let others drag you down. Only then can you find the true you."

Cao Kun’s voice was deep and magnetic, as if he had opened a door for Bai Jing leading to another world. In that world, Bai Jing saw a completely different version of herself: wearing the clothes she loved, adorned with her favorite jewelry, walking with confident strides, her face radiating a genuine, heartfelt smile every day. Free, unconstrained, living entirely for herself! Impulsive and carefree! She seemed to glow, looking radiant and charming.

After a moment of longing, Bai Jing looked at Cao Kun uncertainly. "Do I... do I really still have a chance to be myself again?"

Cao Kun gave her an affirming look. "Of course. You are only thirty-seven, the best age for a woman—at your most lush and vibrant. In the big city, there are plenty of women who haven't even married yet at this age. Besides, if you can captivate an eighteen-year-old young man, isn't that proof enough of your charm? The opportunity has always been right in front of you; it just depends on whether you want to find yourself again."

Bai Jing gazed at Cao Kun, completely moved by his words. She bit her lip and said, "Xiao Kun, meeting you is the luckiest thing that has ever happened to me. I want to be myself again. I don't want to live for anyone else anymore—I want to live for me!"

Cao Kun nodded. "No problem. I support you ten thousand percent."

"Then..." Bai Jing murmured, her smile becoming shy. "How long until Shanshan gets back?"

"That..." Cao Kun chuckled. "It's peak dining time, and the restaurants are busy. I gave her 200 yuan, so she'll probably be ordering four or five dishes. If you factor in the time to walk back and forth to the complex, it should take at most an hour."

"Only an hour?" Bai Jing’s eyes held a shy glint as she bit her lip. "Isn't that a bit too short?"

Cao Kun laughed softly. "It doesn't matter. Think of it as an appetizer. When we go out to relax tonight, we’ll have the full feast."