Chapter 41: I Didn’t Do This

"Fan, what’s got you laughing so hard? Did you land a spot in the student council?" Xu Changhui looked at Chen Fan, who approached them, laughing loudly, and couldn’t help but ask.

Naturally, things with the student council had gone awry—Chen Fan didn’t believe he could get into the Disciplinary Committee with his kind of performance. But after successfully pulling a prank on Wei Youlong, he no longer cared about the council at all.

"I think I’ll be a free man, unburdened by any office. I can just focus on my studies in college. On my way back just now, I saw Wei Youlong running at full speed, so fast he ran straight into a fire hydrant—the sight was hilarious." Just picturing Wei Youlong clutching his groin and half-running made Chen Fan feel like tonight’s punchline had already been delivered.

Xu Changhui, a little concerned, asked, "Was he badly hurt? What was he in such a hurry for?"

"I heard he was caught two-timing and is now rushing to appease Pan Huiru. He’s scared someone will expose all the dirty tricks he’s played. Serves him right." Chen Fan pretended to be passing along gossip, vividly recreating the scene of the incident.

Lai Guangyi, full of interest, joined their conversation. "What happened to Dragon? Did he get sunk?"

"More than just sunk—the whole dock’s about to be dismantled," Chen Fan said, grinning wickedly.

"Who the hell is messing with me?" An angry shout came from outside. Chen Fan recognized the voice as Wei Youlong’s, cleared his throat, and everyone quickly scattered back to their seats.

"Dragon, why the dark face? Such a beautiful, bright moon tonight—you should be happy," Chen Fan said, unable to suppress his laughter. He turned his head toward the wall to hide his smile.

Wei Youlong flung his hand in anger. "It’s definitely one of you. I never told anyone else about these things—only you guys had the chance."

"What things, exactly?" Xu Changhui asked, looking genuinely puzzled.

Lai Guangyi deliberately lowered his voice, "Fan says you were running so fast you hit a pole. He just happened to see it, but don’t worry, we’re all brothers—some pains a man just can’t put into words."

"I can’t keep things under control with Pan Huiru at all now. I’ll never be able to show my face in the Accounting Department again. It was you lot who made those recordings, wasn’t it?" Wei Youlong scanned the room, finally fixing his gaze on Chen Fan.

"Chen Fan, you were outside the classroom at the time too. It had to be you, right? Out with it."

Chen Fan struggled to hide his schadenfreude, frowning as he replied, "I don’t even understand what you’re talking about. Your multi-tasking blew up in your face—what’s that got to do with me? I was just passing by."

Wei Youlong sneered, "Your interview was on the second floor. What were you doing upstairs, then? Don’t tell me you weren’t up to something."

"Oh? Then why don’t you tell me exactly what I was up to? I’m all ears." Chen Fan wasn’t afraid to confront him—he had already deleted every trace of the recording from his phone.

"You recorded my voice and played it back on Senior Zheng Xiaoruo’s phone just to embarrass me and make me lose face," Wei Youlong shouted.

Chen Fan couldn’t help but applaud such touching logic. He countered, "First, what did I record of yours? Second, I don’t even know this Senior Zheng Xiaoruo—how would I become her accomplice? Third, I went to the fourth floor to find someone. What, am I supposed to go straight back to the dorm after the interview?"

Wei Youlong slapped his thigh in frustration. Chen Fan’s words were watertight. Besides, the things in the recording weren’t from last night’s banter with his roommates, and the sound had indeed come from Zheng Xiaoruo’s phone—there was no way to explain it.

But Wei Youlong was fixated: someone was definitely out to get him.

"It… it must have been you guys, recording me talking in my sleep. And who could you have been looking for? Xu Ying is on the fifth floor. I don’t believe you know any other girls." Wei Youlong’s logic was already falling apart.

Chen Fan, stung, shot back mercilessly, "Who the hell would crawl into your bed at night just to record your sleep talk? Recording your snoring or farting would be way more interesting. Please! I was just looking for Pan Huiru because I think she’s pretty and wanted a glimpse of her beauty. What are you going to do about it?"

"Hmph, so you’re determined to go after my girl, huh? You already interfered with Xu Ying, and now you want to butt in with Pan Huiru, too. You sure know how to stick your nose in."

"What? So now it’s my fault you can’t get a girlfriend? You want to drag me down for your own mistakes? Why don’t you check with an insurance company and see if they sell breakup insurance? That way, next time you hit a curve, you can drift right through it." At this point, Chen Fan wasn’t afraid of burning bridges. Did Wei Youlong really think he’d pull a knife on him?

Wei Youlong glared at Chen Fan, grabbing the lighter on the table as if to threaten him. "So you finally admit it, huh? Still want to say it wasn’t you?"

"Smoking is bad for your health, and I can’t stand secondhand smoke. I’ve put up with your bad habits for long enough. You’re old enough—didn’t your mother teach you to throw garbage in the bin? Spitting on the dorm floor, too—why not just use your bed as a toilet?"

"Fan, Dragon, calm down. We’re all roommates—whatever it is, let’s just sit and talk it out," Lai Guangyi quickly jumped in to break up the fight.

"Yeah, yeah, Fan didn’t mean anything by it. It’s all just a misunderstanding. Besides, Pan Huiru really is pretty—especially those long legs. Even I’m tempted," Xu Changhui chimed in, trying to play the peacemaker.

Wei Youlong pointed at the three of them. "So, you’re all teaming up against me, huh? These two country bumpkins are your henchmen, and you, the city kid, are their ringleader. Jealous because I have a nice car, so you came up with these dirty tricks? I can’t stay in this dorm anymore. You three gods can keep it—I’m applying for a transfer."

Chen Fan sneered, "Ha, finally showing your true colors. Always with that sense of superiority. So what if your family has a bit of money? I can’t stand people like you. Go ahead and move out—spare me from having to see your face every day."

"I don’t care. I’m moving out tonight. Just you wait and see." Wei Youlong quickly packed a few things, grabbed his suitcase, and left.

"Hey, you forgot your mosquito net!" Chen Fan shouted after him, delighted.

Without turning back, Wei Youlong replied, "Only places without air conditioning have mosquitoes. Leave it to cover your coffins."

"Hey, do you want your Rolex back?" Chen Fan waved the watch in his hand.

"Keep it—cheap knockoff like that is better left with you paupers as a souvenir," Wei Youlong called, picking up speed.

"True enough—fakes like this aren’t worth much anyway," Chen Fan called out, raising his voice on purpose. As Wei Youlong reached the stairs, he yelled after him, "Next time, at least buy a fake that looks real—the spelling’s even wrong on this Rolex."

"Oh wow, this iPhone turns out to be just an empty shell."

"Tsk tsk, this ‘82 Lafite is filled with soda."

"Haha, and that Armani hat of yours is fake, too—they never made it in green!"