Chapter 76: Divination

Wei Youlong spotted this harbinger of misfortune from afar and decisively broke into a sprint; unfortunately, Chen Fan’s legs were longer, and after circling half the athletic field, he was still cornered. Had it been Wang Kehan, Chen Fan would have avoided him like the plague—someone with violent tendencies meant an inevitable bloodbath if encountered head-on. But Wei Youlong was different: a textbook coward, only good at verbal sparring.

“Is there something you want? I’ve been behaving lately, haven’t bothered any girls, just want to be a good person.”

Wei Youlong was uncharacteristically subdued, dressed in unassuming street-market clothes, his hair trimmed into a proper mushroom cut. His meek tone was a far cry from the brashness he once wielded, leaving Chen Fan a bit unaccustomed.

“Could it be I’m really a masochist?” An unpleasant thought crossed Chen Fan’s mind, but he quickly suppressed it, grinning. “Heh, nothing much. Just haven’t seen you in a while and wanted to catch up.”

Chen Fan had no such refined interests; he was simply bored and had happened upon him, so he seized the opportunity for idle chatter.

“I’ve transferred to another school, all the paperwork is done. We won’t have any more dealings; let’s just go our separate ways.” Wei Youlong turned aside, attempting to leave via the other path, but Chen Fan blocked him with a step.

“Youlong, have you really turned over a new leaf?” Chen Fan still harbored doubts. Was this prodigal son truly reformed?

“Of course it’s true. I’m now a law-abiding citizen.” Wei Youlong didn’t try to save face, answering every question with literal honesty, devoid of any emotion.

Whether it was fortune or disaster, after being beaten by Chen Fan and nearly ending up in a life-or-death situation, Wei Youlong’s living expenses had doubled. His family specifically instructed him not to stir up trouble anymore; if he needed an outlet, he was to find some part-time girls to relieve his urges.

Wei Youlong was initially reluctant—how could these girls compare to college students in purity? But after several thorough sessions, his lower body succumbed, persuading his upper body to relax, and now he enjoyed it with increasing delight.

“From now on, let’s be amicable and mind our own business. Also, I’ve changed my name; I’m no longer called Wei Youlong.”

Fresh from indulgence, Wei Youlong assumed a saintly demeanor, though fatigue lingered in his expression.

Seeing this genuine display, Chen Fan stepped aside and said, “Just live well. What did you change your name to?”

“Wei Long.”

Wei Youlong exhaled, speaking lightly. That old charlatan who performed rituals had some bizarre notion about chili peppers warding off evil, insisting on this name. Wei’s father, a superstitious man himself, dragged Wei Youlong to change it the very day.

...

Chen Fan stifled laughter all the way back to his dorm, closed the door, and finally let himself laugh freely and loudly.

“Oh my, I can’t even look at spicy strips now; this name is pure genius, hahaha~”

“Fan, what’s got you laughing so hard?” Suddenly, a head popped out from behind the balcony door, startling Chen Fan so much he nearly swallowed his saliva into his lungs. There was someone hiding inside all along.

Chen Fan caught his breath and said, “Ahem, Changhui, when did you get back?”

“About an hour ago. Is there a problem?”

“You and Guangyi, where did you go for nightlife last night?” Chen Fan interrogated slyly.

Xu Changhui replied with a blank face, “The department had a dinner outing. After barbecue, they sang karaoke all night and haven’t stopped yet. Guangyi is sprawled out over there; I could still walk, so I came back for a nap.”

“Oh, I see.” Chen Fan rolled his eyes, thinking he’d stumbled upon some earth-shattering gossip, only to be disappointed. He climbed into bed, ready for a nap.

“Elder, what’s the use of a Gypsy woman?”

Chen Fan stared speechlessly at the old man, who was holding a spicy strip in one hand and a jar of chili sauce in the other, dipping with each bite, even splitting one stick into three bites.

“Divination, what else? That’s all she can do for now.” The elder’s face was flushed from the chili, mimicking Old Tao’s expression with a “what are you looking at?” face.

“What a nasty hobby,” Chen Fan scoffed, but could do nothing. He shifted the conversation back to the cards. “How does the divination work? Do we buy a tortoiseshell and some coins for casting hexagrams, or is it more like sleeping and waiting for a god’s message in a dream?”

The elder shook his head. “Neither. That’s the Oriental way. By the book, we need the Western method: tarot cards and a crystal ball—nothing less.”

Chen Fan spread his hands. “Seriously? Where am I supposed to get these things? Any requirements for the crystal ball? Like size or pattern?”

The elder finished his spicy strips and patted his hands. “No requirements. As long as it’s a crystal ball and tarot cards.”

Chen Fan pondered. The school’s gift shop probably had these trinkets for girls, but tarot cards would likely need to be bought online.

Thinking further, by the time the delivery arrived, the Gypsy woman’s time would be up. Even with the manual, he wouldn’t be able to decipher those cryptic card meanings, much less attempt a divination.

“Relax, no tarot cards? We can just draw them ourselves on blank A4 sheets. No need for artistic skill—even stick figures will do,” the elder said leisurely.

Chen Fan felt a flicker of hope, but a quick online search for tarot cards dashed it.

“Dozens of different cards, all with illustrations—you think it’s like drawing playing cards?”

The elder pushed up imaginary reading glasses, speaking earnestly, “Then don’t bother with tarot cards. But interpreting the signs from the divination will rely entirely on your own comprehension.”

Chen Fan scoffed, “Is that a problem? From elementary to high school, my reading comprehension scores were always full marks. Trust me.”

The elder stretched out lazily and lay down on the floor. “Don’t blame me if your results are off. I’m full now, going to sleep.”

“Tch, impossible. That won’t happen,” Chen Fan said, relaxing his muscles. He didn’t rush out to buy a crystal ball either, luxuriating in the midday nap.

Before nightfall, Chen Fan returned to the dorm, cradling a palm-sized crystal ball.

He carefully placed it on his desk, muttering to himself, “What a joke. The shopkeeper insisted I buy a bigger one, saying girls like confident guys. I’m not giving it to anyone, couldn’t explain it no matter how hard I tried.”

The elder mocked mercilessly, “But you still bought the big one, haha.”

“I just didn’t want a small crystal ball affecting the divination. Bigger gives clearer images,” Chen Fan replied, wiping dust off the ball with a tissue, blowing on it like a craftsman polishing jade.

“Tsk tsk, if the resolution isn’t up to par, it’ll end up pixelated,” the elder said, munching sunflower seeds nearby.

Chen Fan froze, nearly dropping the crystal ball. “What? Why didn’t you say so sooner? If that’s true, I should’ve gotten the smaller one.”

“Ha, just kidding! It’s definitely ultra-high definition, haha.” The elder stuffed a handful of peeled seeds into his mouth, not realizing one unpeeled seed was mixed in, and immediately choked.

“That’s good.” Chen Fan glanced at his roommates, both fast asleep. Worried about unpredictable developments, he moved the crystal ball onto his bed for safety.

“Feels like I’m about to command the world,” Chen Fan said, blowing his fringe aside and taking a deep breath.